With the holiday season rearing it's head, we all know the stresses involved can cause us to slip out the occasional swear word.  Instead of sounding like a sailor on leave when your with the family, I've come up with some alternatives you can use to get bye and still be the apple of your parents eyes.

1) The F Word

Instead of saying the grand daddy of all swear words (you know the one that means fornication) and horrify your mother, try to say something that is equally harsh sounding yet satisfying-somehow "oh fudge" does not have the same effect.  Freaking,, frick or flipping are good alternatives, my persona favourite is fa, as in what the fa?  It just works!

2) The always gratifying s&*t

You know how some words just feel good coming out and just fall out of your mouth so easily and effortlessly, this is my nemesis when it comes to swearing.  I realized it's the ease of the word that makes me say it so much, so I've switched to scheisse (pronounced shisa) or shyte (said as it's spelled), it slips out easily too.

3) For the jacka** 

I don't find this word that offensive but some might, so I follow the english and either say arse (somehow less offensive and sounds funny), or for the Gordon Ramsey in all of us, just say donkey, as in "You fricking donkey"-gotta love it!

4) For the female dog in all of us (the one that rhymes with witch)

Witch doesn't cut it for me, but according to the urban dictionary "chubi" is a good alternative.  I tried it and I gotta tell you, it worked and confused the idiot who kept cutting me off when driving!

As for the other swear words (mostly referring to anatomy and sexual preferences)

I'm not gonna go there-they are just rude and honestly folks, there' s no way to candy coat those ones-stick and candy cane in your mouth and be done with it!